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My Loneliness is Killing Me


Today I fasted, and it was easy.
Today I drank a glass of water, and it came up right away.

Today I called my mother, and she told me she was sorry.

Today I listened to "She's Leaving Home," and I started to cry.

My room is filthy, I have hours of homework due at 8:30 AM, and the rain is torrential.

I like a girl across the hall, she is a dancer and she smiles like a child (like I never could) and she lets me hustle her cigarettes. "Chill for five minutes with me," she asks, but I am too busy procrastinating by grabbing at my flesh with grubby fingers and tracing the paths of the stretch marks on my hips.

I can't make myself do anything.

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